"Emotions" are inseparable from human beings. The only difference, is the way it's been managed from person to person. Those who succeed in keeping emotions undercover are considered "practical" or even "indifferent"; and others are tagged, (non-brilliantly) "Emotional". But, here's the thing: We all have emotions, some extremely deep rooted. There are no exceptions.
It could be loss of a loved one to death, to separation, to divorce or just end of a relation.
It could be loss of finances, in investments, in business, in job, in friendships or family.
It could be loss of self respect, confidence, trust, hopes or desire.
Extreme Pain could only be felt for those losses, where we had once experienced Pleasure or Trust or just pure emotional attachment.
Think of a loved one that was one of the most important persons in your life (Your Parent, Grandparent, sibling, friend, lover, spouse, kid, mentor, teacher, relative, colleague, Guru). Someone who made your day, cheered you up, stood by you, made you feel special... let's just say your entire life revolved around this one person. That's pure joy, isn't it? What'll happen when, for whatever reason you lose this very special person?
Think of a relationship that you nurtured with respect, trust, love, passion & what happens when that ends abruptly (or so we think)?
Imagine, you put your blood and sweat into earning your well deserved wealth, that you get robbed off, or you lose it to a trusted colleague/friend/family, or your business partner turns out to be a crook, or your well planned investments takes a major downturn & you lose it all.
A few emotions that pop-up almost immediately after a terrible Loss, are feelings of immense pain, intense hurt, anger, rage, self doubt, anxiousness... They're all REAL & understandable.
But, there could be more to this.
Probably NOT easy, but certainly more Positive, more Empowering.
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To learn valuable Life Lessons.
To become a stronger, smarter self.
To "Let go" of those unsupportive thoughts/people/environment.
To start over NEW.
Think of it as a price you had to pay to look within and identify opportunities to grow as a person. Fix your self worth, love yourself a lot more, be more accommodating, sometimes forgiving someone even when they haven't apologized yet. (Or will never do. It's okay!). Learning to "let go" before it's too late. Parting ways gracefully.
Think of it as a price you had to pay to improve your Financial Skills. To take mental notes of the people you trusted that led to this loss. In hindsight, it will always be worth the pain & will help dodge a future bullet. A price you had to pay to learn being more cautious, choosing the right investment vehicles, getting written agreements etc.
This is certainly the toughest. The immeasurable pain, the never ending grief, it's all so real and undeserved. But, this loss too, can be considered as a price we had to pay to understand & accept the biggest reality of life: Death! A price for realizing the hard way, that nothing in this life is permanent. As mentioned in Bhagwat Geeta: "For death is certain to one who is born...thou shalt not grieve for what is unavoidable."
NO! Is it possible? Yes! There are thousands of people walking right amongst us, seemingly ordinary people, with this extra ordinary skill. Most of them have a strong spiritual foundation. But you'll also find atheists who have mastered being emotionally detached. It's a tough, but a learnable skill. (Perhaps a good-to-have skill for us, less mortal emotional beings)
Being Emotionally Detached is not about running away from your emotions or responsibilities. But on the contrary, being fully aware & in control of the emotions that overwhelm you while fulfilling your responsibilities dutifully.
It brings out our most disturbing emotions. Many a times, we slip into "victim-mode" by listing out the external factors that caused us this loss. And that is the most destructive way to cope with a loss. It only worsens our pain and the rebound time. But with this new approach of looking at "Loss, as a price we had to pay" to learn and grow; we take control of the current situation. We take 'responsibility', turn our 'winner mindset' on, we sail through this tough phase gracefully and emerge on the other side as a stronger, smarter, wiser and more peaceful soul.
What was your recent Loss that caused you immense pain?
Shall we do something together about it, to reduce the pain? It will just take 15 minutes.
Yes? Thank you!
I'm sure many of us have been doing Loss-Audits in our minds; but for the first time, I've turned it into an easy to follow Personal-Loss-Audit-Tool. And I'm doing this exercise with you. Mine is for a Financial loss that I suffered in past. Let's get started!
My Loss Story
Write down everything about your Loss.
If there's someone involved directly/indirectly, write down their name(s), if you want.
My Loss - The Emotions
Write down exactly how it made you feel.
Watch the emotions that comes rushing in, write it down.
My Loss - My Learnings
In this section list every lesson this loss taught you.
Write down what you could've done differently, if we were to turn back time.
My BIGGEST Takeaway
Lastly, highlight ONE Big Learning you had from this Loss (Something that you have total control over).
Done? Good job!
Conclude this exercise with a few deep breaths & a pat on your back for doing this :)
Remember, we are real people with real emotions. When life goes sideways (& it will), when people hurt you intentionally or unintentionally (& they will), when losses come your way (& they sadly will)... You need to remember: YOU are stronger than you think.
Every LOSS we experience, is a price we pay to learn an important life-lesson that'll eventually make us Stronger, sharper, smarter and wiser.
I hope this was of value to you.
Stay Strong! More Power to you!
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