Effective Leaders Need the Strength of Self Restraint
Five Mind Development Tips
Lord Krishna gave us very interesting and most effective five techniques for mind development. They are Cheerfulness, Gracefulness, Silent (introspection), Self-restraint & Purity of Intent in that order.
Cheerfulness is feasible only when your mind is free from negative emotions. Silent introspection every day can keep your negative emotions under control in the long run. Self-restraint is keeping control on your negative emotions.
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Most Damaging Loss for Duryodhana
I am about to start a story from the epic Mahabharath wherein loss of self-restraint resulted in a big loss for Duryodhana, losing the most important Kurukshetra war with the Pandavas.
All the warriors of Mahabharath time had aligned either with the Kauravas or the Pandavas and fought the mighty war but two great warriors of that time abstained from fighting and instead went on pilgrimage and that made big difference to the outcome. It is believed that the Kauravas could have possibly won the war if one of them fought the war with the Kauravas instead of abstaining. Who are these gifted warriors? They are Balarama and Vidura.
Balarama, elder brother of Lord Krishna, clearly preferred to abstain from the war as he was not convinced, neither with the cause of the Kauravas nor that of the Pandavas. Vidura’s story was different. Vidura had given a pledge to Pandu that he will not desert the company of the blind Dhridharashtra anytime. Vidura had an obligation to fight on the side of the Kauravas though he was convinced with the cause of the Pandavas. Why did he then stay away from the war? Was it because of the fear of fighting a war? Not at all. Vidura was a great warrior of his time and was gifted with a divine weapon, most devastating bow of that time, Govarthan.
GOVARTHAN was gifted to Vidura by Lord Vishnu and one who wields it at the time of a war cannot be destroyed by any weapon, not even by Arjuna’s Gandiva. If Vidura would have participated in the war, he could have won Arjuna easily.
Lord Krishna had a trick up his sleeves for all the warriors who had aligned with the Kauravas, i.e. a Shikandi for Bhishma, Dhrishtadyumna for Dronacharya, etc but could not come up with anything to beat GOVARTHAN. Vidura had no vulnerability. Instead, he preferred to use a different weapon against Vidura, the weapon of ‘poor self-restraint’. This story is there in many versions of Mahabharath.
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Krishna’s Trick to Tackle Vidura
Lord Krishna came to Hastinapur as a peace ambassador of the Pandavas. Duryodhana arranged a royal welcome for Lord Krishna as per the advice of the elders in his court. Duryodhana invited Krishna to stay at his palace. Krishna knew that Duryodhana would have made arrangements to spy on him if he accepted his offer of staying in the palace. So, he stayed at Vidura’s house. Why did he choose Vidura’s house? He could have stayed with the great Bhishma who was as equal to Vidura if not more in righteousness, love for Krishna, etc. There should be a reason behind Krishna’s actions?
During the peace negotiations the next day, Duryodhana abused Vidura for giving place to stay for his enemies' friend (Krishna) and favouring the Pandavas' cause. He blamed Vidura to be ungrateful to the kingdom and having criminal thoughts.
Dhritarashtra, Bhishma and other elderly persons present in the court were stunned. They tried to pacify Duryodhana, but he remained violent and aggressive. He used the harshest words against Vidura referring to his birth and said that while his belly was depending on the royal food, his heart was beating with love for the Pandavas.
Vidura remained quiet all through but could not tolerate when Duryodhana abused him as a ‘dasi’s son’. Krishna cleverly intervened and played a trick. Turning towards Duryodhana, he said, “O Kaurava King, do not provoke Vidura like this. If you do, he might break his bow and declare that he will not fight on your side and would be neutral.”
Duryodhana, however, was still indignant and arrogant and said it did not matter if Vidura decided against fighting. “I can win the war without the help of the ungrateful Vidura”.
An enraged Vidura was unable to digest any further insult. He declared, “Krishna, you guided me on the right path and reminded me of my power of archery. I will fight no more". So saying, he strung his bow and broke it with a thunderous noise accompanied by a flash of lightning. Vidura thanked Krishna and walked out of the durbar. His promise to Pandu did not matter when his self-respect was attacked unfairly by a person who could not control his emotions.
This turned out to be a costly mistake for Duryodhana. Vidura didn’t have any curse or vulnerability like Karna or Bhishma or Dronacharya and the only way to counter his power would be to stop his participation in the war and Krishna cleverly achieved that using the deadly vulnerability of Duryodhana, his emotional intelligence.
Quotable quote from the same great Vidura in his Vidura Neeti:
"Old age destroys beauty, Temptation destroys patience, Greed spoils the malicious man, One’s good nature sours as a result of servicing the wicked, Lust destroys shame and EGO destroys EVERYTHING."
Introspect, Control and shun these negative emotions.
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