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Business

STUPID Things NOT to Say to Your Team: 5 Leadership Pitfalls

Written by Paul Banoub
Last Updated: Oct 22, 2022

If you're hearing these 5 STUPID phrases from your manager, leadership or colleagues then that's a red flag that you might be working with people that aren't at the level you'd want!

And if you're a boss yourself then make sure you're not destroying your team's morale with these motivation-killers!

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"I'm the boss!"

Ok you are. But you're absolutely nothing without your team. They're the ones who produce the end product that you are responsible for.

It's your job to be the catalyst to allow the team to succeed. Break down the barriers, coach, empower, support. But they're the ones doing the work. And as such, you need them more than they need you!

Celebrate their achievements and make sure they are front and centre when they succeed. And when they mess up it's you that needs to step in front of the bullets and take the hits.

You'll find your team know you're in charge. And they'll be cool with it. So get on with the vitally important role of looking after your team like they're your own family.

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"That's a stupid idea!"

You know what - it might be. It might be ludicrous. But one of the most critical aspects of team leadership is to provide an environment where your team is safe enough to be free to innovate and try those crazy ideas. Some of them may work and be the idea that takes your firm into a new business. And if it bombs, then hey it's no big deal.

Team leaders need to create that safe place for their employees to fail. That culture of psychological safety. If people feel that they are going to be hammered for any mistakes then innovation will dry up completely. I've worked in environments like that and it's truly toxic.

So as a boss, make sure you're giving your teams all the autonomy in the world to be able to experiment, innovate and be creative. You might think something is a stupid idea, but be emotionally intelligent and self-aware enough to keep those thoughts to yourself and instead provide the encouragement that your team needs.

"Work is work, home is home"

In today's workplace, and especially in the post-covid work from home era, this couldn't be further from the truth. It might have been the case working in the factories of generations ago, clocking in and clocking out - but the truth of today is that many people are utterly absorbed and deeply committed to their careers and to making a difference to their teams and companies.

You'll find bad days will affect them at home. They'll make family sacrifices to get that deliverable over the line - they might even abort a family vacation to get you and the company out of a nasty problem - I've seen commitment like that before.

So as a leader it's vitally important that you try to establish a culture where your teams can have and enjoy a good work life balance. That might mean different things to different people, but it's your job to understand that both work and home life can continuously overlap and impact each other. Far from being separate, they are very much intertwined.

Your team will regularly take their office problems home with them. And the more you can recognise and react to that, the better.

"That was all your fault!"

That comment is one of the most toxic and least desirable things that anyone can say to anyone else in a workplace, and certainly not from manager to employee.

People make mistakes all the time. And yes, mistakes are usually someone's fault. And how a manager responds to one of their team making a mistake can be a defining characteristic of whether that manager is worth working for.

Great leaders make sure that when their team messes up, it is them that steps in front of the clients to explain what went wrong. And they won't mention their teams. The boss is accountable, and will face off to the stakeholders and do the explaining. And when the team smashes it out of the park, then the boss puts them in the spotlight. Basically leaders take none of the praise and all of the blame.

And that also applies to the manager and employee direct conversations. Sure you might talk about mistakes, and you might even agree that yes it was the fault of the employee. But mistakes are rarely ALL down to one person. There can be a lot of contributory factors. Poor IT systems and processes, systems prone to error. Or external factors affecting the performance and delivery of an employee. There can be all sorts going on.

So rather than "that was all your fault" say "you made a mistake, are you ok?" Showing that empathy is true leadership behaviour.

"I hate this job!"

You may well do. Certainly at some times. And there may well be some seriously sub-optimal aspects to your role. Most jobs have a degree of the non-glamorous to them.

But your team also has challenges. And as a leader it's up to you to put their challenges front and centre and get them fixed. Park your own stuff. Being a leader is about them, not about you.

Another reason not to say this is that leaders need to avoid the negativity, gossip and moaning. It's so important to try and maintain a degree of positivity and avoid getting drawn into the gossip and complaining, even when things are not going well.

Teams look to leaders to maintain a strong determination to continue on their mission. Delivering and achieving and moving forward, rather than ruminating and complaining and feeling sorry for yourself.

Yes you may have challenges. And sometimes they'll be big. But leaders help their teams keep their eyes on the light at the end of the tunnel and to keep them moving forward.

As a leader, what you say to your teams can be absolutely critical. Your words can make the difference between your teams smashing it out of the park or imploding in a toxic environment. And the key aspect for leaders is to be self-aware enough to understand that even a throwaway comment or casual remark can have an impact. Consider every word carefully and use your emotional intelligence to make your words matter.

You can learn more from my online courses here.

Paul Banoub
Featured Uplyrn Expert
Paul Banoub
Technologist, Leadership & Productivity Expert, EntrepreneurNOW Network
Subjects of Expertise: People Management, Productivity, Leadership
Featured Uplyrn Expert
Paul Banoub
Technologist
Leadership & Productivity Expert
EntrepreneurNOW Network
Subjects of Expertise
People Management
Productivity
Leadership
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