Do You Want a Magnetic Personality? Start Being Yourself!

You see, in every social situation, people are always giving you feedback. Some of it is negative and some of it is positive. For example, if they like what you say, they may smile. If they don’t like what you say, they may give you a look of confusion.

This feedback is good because it allows us to adjust how we come across to people and accomplish our desired outcome. Now, the problem arises when guys become too attached to the outcome… or the reaction of the other person. This manifests itself in two ways.

1. Some guys strive to be the "Funny and Likeable" guy. He does everything he can to get people to laugh and smile. He is constantly seeking their positive reaction and their approval. The problem is that he loses all attraction because he is putting others before him. He has now become the "entertainer" instead of the "King" who gets entertained. This is not letting your true personality shine because it is still dependent on other people's reactions.
2. When guys take negative feedback or people's reactions too seriously, they shut down, become quiet, and don’t let their personality shine. They would rather stay quiet and do nothing than risk getting a bad reaction from people. They cannot express their personality and let their inhibitions take over. They are constantly focused on avoiding any negative feedback whatsoever so they do nothing. Symptoms of this are shyness, timidity, self-consciousness, and nervousness.

Don’t worry, you are not alone. Many people are self-conscious and would rather not have any negative feedback. But negative feedback is good. For example, let’s say you are traveling in your car from point A to point B with your GPS. Let’s say you take a wrong turn and your GPS says, "You are going the wrong way, please turn around". Would you quit driving altogether because you made one wrong move? Or would you just turn around and keep going? It is the same with life and social situations. When you receive a negative response, adjust and keep moving forward.

When people are too self-conscious, they care TOO much about what people think. If this is you, then it is time to NOT care about what they think of you.

The way to make a good impression on another person is TO NEVER CONSCIOUSLY TRY TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION ON THEM. Don’t act or fail to act purely to create a certain reaction.

You may be thinking, "If I don’t care what people think, I may lose my job, or hurt people’s feelings…" Okay, true. At some level it is good to care for other people. However, if you are self-conscious, shy, timid, worry a lot, or are seeking positive reactions, then YOU NEED TO STOP and move to the other side of the spectrum called, "NOT CARE about what they think of you".